The past few weeks,
I have been so unfocused.
(So pardon me if this entry is unstable, too.)
This past Sunday
I felt like the
cosmic world was torn
asunder.
The result: I got sick.
***
I have this funny theory, and
it's related to the whole idea
of a polar shift.
Polar shift:
Now, the whole idea of this gives me
a few chills.
If it's true,
I feel terrifically cheated.
Here I am;
I've been living so very long,
robbed of the privilege of
a private death
for hundreds of years;
instead, I may be transported into the ether
en masse--
with you
all.
All of us, together,
no special ceremonies
or embalmings
or monuments
or pictures in the paper;
just a sudden,
unexpected
******
and what will be left of us?
This:
these very words;
these internet images and
our radio impressions;
that amazing chatter of the multitudes
that my own small voice is but one part of.
This is what will be left;
this is what assures some level of
immortality.
( geology.com )
For some reason, though, this thought doesn't disturb me at all.
If we could all just sort of do what I've been talking about in some of my entries,
then it might not be all that bad. My two central rules are::
Just live each moment as if
it's the last.
and
Just love.
What is love?
It's that stupid feeling of bliss that you feel
when you sit out under the stars by a fire
with a beer
and a cigarette.
It's that extraordinary
wordless awe
of holding a baby's hand
in your own;
it's the moment of loss
of control of self
when the body wrenches
orgasmically
with someone who
helps you be
your better self
even as you
help them be
their better self;
it's the satisfaction
of showing your son
how to change a head gasket
and seeing him do it just right;
it's the satisfaction gained
when you stop thinking about
what you need to do by tomorrow
and instead
listen
to the story your mother wants to tell,
or that funny old man down the road, or
that kid in your class who wears a helmet
and sits in a wheelchair.
it's every act we give
to another
without thinking
about what we will
gain in return.
******
OK, all right already.
What does that have to do with 2012?
absolutely nothing
and
absolutely everything.
But back to the way I started this.
I have this funny theory, and
it's related to the whole idea
of a polar shift:
the popular belief is that
this shift is going to happen
very quickly.
Well, I say:
it's started already.
How else can you explain
all the strange natural phenomena
we've been experiencing lately?
The earth is shifting,
already, perhaps even
anticipating
the frolicsome dance
soon to begin
between her
and the sun
and this massive
black hole
in the middle
of our galaxy.
We are but bit players in this larger planetary rendezvous:
the sun and the earth,
well,
they've done this before.
Makes me wonder
what that third party, that black hole
is
anyway?
Perhaps it is nothing but
a mirror
in which all of creation -
each human individually,
and humanities as an entity -
will suddenly,
unexpectedly
encounter
itself
and have to
answer
for
itself.
Are you ready?
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