Drag As Therapy

OK,

So I was listening to NPR,

my favorite driving companion,

this morning,

and I heard an interview with RuPaul.

(For the actual interview, see link at the end of this entry.)

Now, I have to admit,

I've always been intrigued by Drag Queens,

even though I never quite understood;

I lived in the West Village

of NYC, 

and happily went to the parades,

but this morning I made the connection

between going in drag

and finding the diva

in you.

And that's really not all that bad of a thing.

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I've written before about

how we all

have the potential to be divas,

and I must admit,

I was taken by my friend Debra's comment

that a diva is a designation 

for a special talent,

and to give yourself that title

is a bit pretentious.

And I understand that;

I really do.

If you met me on the street,

you would meet

a very humble woman

who often does not go out of her way to look good

most of the time.

A woman (like many women) who

when using her talents, uses them with restraint,

because she was always taught

not to call too much attention to myself.

Humility is a good

and important

thing;

and I think we all need

to maintain it, to a certain extent,

but not to the extent

that we bottle ourselves,

throttle ourselves,

and refuse ourselves the opportunity

to express ourselves.

To be a diva

is to find the most beautiful thing inside of you,

and to not be afraid to flaunt it.

The world would be,

perhaps,

a much happier place

if we were all comfortable enough 

with ourselves to do that.

This doesn't always mean

dressing like a drag queen,

but if your inner beauty means

physical self expression,

so be it;

it may mean

being smart,

being a good cook,

being a deep lover,

being a gardener:

whatever brings out

the beauty in you.

But since we're so repressed,

so beaten down,

so painfully squelched,

drag is the outcome of self expression.

And drag is frightening,

and brave,

all at the same time.

Drag is therapy.

This blog is the place where I

am in drag,

unashamedly

and proudly--

and I bless RuPaul for this sentiment (paraphrased -

I hope RuPaul wouldn't be too offended

by my added interpretation):

I will make my special talent (be it my body, my mind, or my voice) as beautiful and true as I can possibly be,

as long as I live in it

on this beautiful planet.

Whole (an edited channelling)

1.

I had a dream

several months ago;

in it,

I was singing

with a multitude of people.

It was the end of time,

and we knew it.

Everyone was walking down streets

long and dark, like an alley,

a huge bowling alley;

so many people, 

so many voices.

And then a group broke off,

male and female, and I

was among them,

and we were singing

to a beautiful musical phrase:

we had no children

over and over again.

we had no children

we had no children

we had no children.

And we were exquisite;

every voice around me

was full and realized,

and every voice was

content with where it sat

in the face

of the singer,

and the singers each

were content

with their faces

that contained

their voices.

It was a joy to sing with them,

and I realized

most of my companions

were gay

or were single and childless,

like me,

and I was happy to be singing

with the choir of the childless

because

we each understood

the sources of our pain and

our voices sounded so good

together,

so we sang, as we marched 

down our narrow street;

we sang

we had no children

we had no children

we had no children

into the depth

of the endless

night.

2.

Some people wonder

why it seems

we have so many gay people

around,

so many

who have not reproduced.

?

Those who reproduce

are those

who are still evolving,

who do not yet recognize

the element of the opposite sex

we each contain,

or perhaps

they haven't developed 

their other halves

so well;

they're still predominantly 

just half.

either

male

or

female

(remember:

god broke in half

in order to be able to see

himherself,

but when they broke in 1/2

he actually had to double

themselves

because

god

was whole

and in order for whole

to see whole

it has to see

half & half

because

if whole

tries to see another whole

well,

it would just continuously

be disappearing

into the 

hole in the middle of whole

that appears

when whole tries

to double itself

; ; ; ;

so whole reproduces itself

by creating

two halves

to represent

the halves

that constitute the whole.

I've said this before.

We -- every part of creation --

are representatives

and representations

of the different aspects

of the whole;

and within each of our species

we continually represent the doubling of the

whole, of the 

entity

that is god.

just think of what happens in nature:

the halves

seperate,

but then become wholes

by doubling --

a continual repetition,

a continual reproduction,

of the act of reproduction

that the creative force

we choose to call God

initiated

when it felt the compulsion

to reproduce

itself.

As the 1/2s evolve,

the aspects in us that

are the essential aspects

of a whole god

emerge, 

and we begin containing

a little bit of each half

of the whole:

Thus, more and more

we are prone to see

people who contain

this doubleness,

and

those of us

who have been evolving

for awhile

from age to age

now occupy

avatars

that indicate

our wholeness

--

we contain a duality

--

a man in a female body;

a female in a male body,

and sometimes

we are attracted to another

just like us.

What else can I say?

I don't know for sure

why

a message like this is emerging;

it just is--

and I'm writing it.

(Actually, I'm editing it, too, 

because the original channelling

was quite a challenge.

But the message

was clear.)

Anyway,

so I'm singing with all these

gorgeous-voiced people

many gay,

many lesbian,

some like me,

all of us who

never reproduced,

not in this lifetime, at least;

we never really needed to reproduce

though we may have wanted to,

because,

some of us,

like me

contained a weeping memory

of reproduction

deep in our wombs.

We are the ones whose

spirits have evolved

to a point

maybe 

shy of wholeness.

And so we contain two in one.

For some of us,

on first sight,

we're way shy of normal,

but the more you get to know us

you see

we're not that bad,

and we're even appealling,

even

beautiful,

and we sure can sing.

And don't forget:

we can't help it==

we were born into these

avatars

that mark the stage we're at

in our spiritual development;

they are

bifacial,

biracial,

bisexual,

bicameral,

and we need them

to learn the lesson

we're here to learn

this time around,

and to help humankind

move

to the next stage it is meant

to arrive at.

soon.