Place of Refuge

Place of Refuge
Showing posts with label earth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label earth. Show all posts

12 June 2013

Stardust

I am just a modest little
blogger
who, when I began this modest little
blog,
thought I could say something
that would impact someone.

I've since come to realize
that my little blog is just a blip 
on the larger screen,
like a distant star
in a distant galaxy,
in a landscape of babble.

I'm always a little shocked 
and amazed
when someone responds to a post I've written.

It's sort of like a voice from the other side of the universe.


And for those of you who are reading this:
It's nice to know you.

*

I ramble on
about whatever, and my words spin out
into the ether, sort of like that wonderful
to that film Contact,  that I think
Carl Sagan helped produce.

Remember that?


I kind of imagine the internet that way,
this scramble of voices
of impulses
of history,
emanating from our earth,
embracing the earth,
producing lasting traces
of we,
our history.

Cosmos left a big impact on me,
when it first came out.
It was one of those media events,
like the first time we landed on the moon,
that asked me
and everyone else,
to see our planet
from elsewhere,
to put our planet in its true perspective.

This is a fairly awesome thing to do,
in the truest sense of the word
awesome.


I've been recently made aware of another film,
that places us back into that space perspective,
and asks us to look at earth
from space
and consider our responsibilities.
It's called Continuum, and from what I can see,
its makers are/were looking for funding to 
suport it at Kickstarter.

I think it's worth it.

Here's a trailer for it:


I'm getting used to the fact
I'm a blip on the internet screen,
and we
as a race, perhaps,
are getting more used to the fact
that we are but a blip
in the universe,

yet when you're 
an inhabitant of the blip,
well, it's worth taking the time to take care of it.

Indeed, 
as I've said before,
that particular issue overshadows
all else.





06 July 2012

Rainbows in the Trash



And as the sweet cicadas call,
in this, only early July,
I wonder if the world will
ever be the same again.

The bees have burrowed in the soil,
and herbs have gone to seed;
will August bring an early fall?
Will autumn quickly recede?

Then I found these rainbows in the trash
and captured them for you.
Do not despair, it's only hiding
the earth, we know, will renew--



It's just waiting for you
too,
to renew.


29 June 2012

Radio Ruminations


Today I found this little blog called
and I must confess, I was quite smitten by it, and
it's not simply because the guy who runs it
is named Phil.

He has a gallery of radios he has restored,
and he gives plenty of information
on how to restore your own.

I wanted to put Phil on my favorite blog list,
and I will, but I thought I'd also call attention to him
with this modest little entry today.



You see,
I have a little radio problem.
I love radios.
Not only do I think they are one of the most efficient ways
to disseminate information, I also have
utopian visions about them.
I'm not the only one -- when radio first appeared,
plenty of people felt it would be the most
democratic of mediums,
and it would unite the world.  
Well, that task would be left for radio's
younger cousin, the internet.

But I also have
great respect for the way their waves
embrace the earth, in something
like a woven electronic basket.


We tend to be afraid of too much 
radio-activity, but
I tend to think radio waves are our friends;
and we just don't understand how fully they can be --


So many of our recent technologies, in fact, 
have involved working with some form of 
radio wave, taming it for our
own selfish ends.

~ ~ ~

I read somewhere just yesterday
that there is a project afoot to protect the earth
from asteroids.  There's this huge telescope looking for them.


bunsenburner (story here about the telescope)

My question is:
what would we do if we actually found an asteroid hurtling towards us?
Is there some way that the earth can duck?

My simplistic theory is:
use the radio waves.  We can use microwaves to cook,
xrays to see into our bodies,
is there any frequency at which we can create
some kind of shield?

Just thinkin'



This is a pretty modest entry,
so pardon me.
My brain is just not functioning
as fluently as I would like it to.
Too much sun will do that to me.
So let me wish you a happy day,
and move on my way --


(greeninnovation)

. . . and another radio thought:


(just found this on Facebook,
at the FB page "Global Awakening"



20 June 2012

happy solstice to you


via wkbw


So I was walking along the harbour today,
watching the sun sizzle over the horizon,
while the Wednesday sailing regatta pirouetted underneath,
and a salsa band played music,
and couples danced and walked
and children ate ice cream
and I did, too.  I did
too, with you
thankful for this moment,
this day,
and you reminded me it was the longest of the year.


The past few weeks have not been altogether easy,
but there is the sun,
always to be counted on,
and there are the smiles of a summer dawning ~


We can rejuvenate ourselves,
indeed.

Our planet does, every day,
every year


Happy solstice to everyone




28 May 2012

The Rage of the Soul


Those times, when the rage comes around,
so great, it's near impossible to control,
don't let the despair overcome you; know
it's the god within your soul;

It's the force of creation awakening
there, trapped in the shell of the human --
it's the sustaining spirit in
despair, for the bondage it suffers,
the blindness of flesh,
the myth of happy-ever-after,
the rope of time,
the windowless buildings
of society's rights
and wrongs.


Like all caged beasts, it is prone to rebellion.
Ride the wave of its energy, channel
it through the inlets and byways
of art and society.  Put it to use,
so it doesn't use you, and it will
be 
the beauty that you leave
on the face of the earth.


 (also from extremeinstability -- a fascinating website!)


30 April 2012

Some Thoughts on a Morning Walk


Now that I've lived in my body
for hundreds of years,
                                         now
that I know the cycle of my personalities,
                               now
that I know the journey from my spine to foot,
and traverse it regularly,
relieved by regularities,
and pestered by the places of pain and imperfection,


Now that I know
unequivocally that
No
One
Wins,
                            and no one loses,
and
that you, on your morning jog,
and I, walking my head to clarity,
that we, working repetitively
just to be here now,

well,
now
what is there to do but be grateful 
that the earth too works repetitively
to make our nows
Eden, if we let them be.


photos by me.

21 March 2012

Spring-Waking


. . . the earth has woken
to herald spring
with premature,
voluptuous
accord ~ ~



Could it be that time
is speeding up?
Is this the last gasp
before a deeper chill?



Or is it just a passing phase, ~~

a year that history will look back upon and say
"it was extraordinary."

It is


extra


ordinary,

and so hard not to stop and look
and be amazed





. . . wishing you all a peaceful spring.

14 February 2012

Underwater Garbage

Today,
while swimming at my local aquatic center,
I noticed a clump of hair suspended, about 
a foot underwater,
a band-aid somewhere near the bottom
and 
a discarded flipper.

I am certain that the next time I swim,
that junk will be gone,
scooped out by the diligent pool workers
paid by the same local tax money
that made this fabulous olympic size pool possible.

No swimming tax payer would tolerate
that junk in their pool.


So why oh why
do we tolerate this
in our oceans? 




This last picture comes from an article at a site called Sprinterlife,
which includes some pretty horrific other pictures. 
Another chilling source of pictures of the garbage "soup"
in the Pacific come from a photographer called Mandy Barker

I'm not absolutely sure why folks are suddenly so horrified by the amount of garbage
in our seas.  We've been tossing our refuse into them for
generations.  I remember once, when I was at a museum
in Girne (Kyrenia), North Cyprus, they had an exhibit of
nut shell that were found in the hull of an ancient boat
found on the sea floor -- they were the refuse
from ancient sailors eating snacks and tossing away the shells.
The problem is: our garbage today isn't biodegradable.

Sprinterlife has three suggestions on how we might curb
the increasing masses of garbage in our seas.  Here they are
with a couple additional thoughts from me:
1.  Recycle.  My current city has launched a very serious recycling 
campaign, and I'm very proud of them!  They've made recycling 
very easy, and more people are getting on board and thinking before they toss.  
If your city doesn't do this, perhaps you and your friends and neighbors 
should give your local government a good nudge to change that.

2.  Stop using plastic!  I refuse to drink bottled water.  I'm even trying to start to buy
my milk in glass (from local producers)  We should have more local folks using, and reusing
glass containers again.

3.  Make the transition to using biodegradable products.


I would add: think local.  If you're buying from local producers, 
there is less of a need to use packaging that has to withstand
long-distance travel.  After all, we think local when we think of our water:
if we want to swim in our swimming pools,
we keep them clean.  If we have a water reservoir as a water source,
we work hard to keep that clean too.   
The term "glocal" applies here:
what we do locally can and should have a global impact.  Including how we treat our vital resources,
like water,
and energy.

I don't know if we can actually clean up the messes in our oceans,
but we can sure make a strong effort to curb it.
And I agree with Sprinterlife, we have to do it NOW!





08 January 2012

Do It Now


The simple problem of humanity
is that we've built a world
- our perfect world -
so well, it hides the world
whose very imperfections whisper
the secrets we all seek.


With each inhale,
with each exhale,
with each slumbering purr and fart,
our earth speaks
the mystery of her own creation,
and our creation too.

We fumbling creator creatures,
so self important in our mimicking
of the sublime voice that breathed us into life,
and 
in our petty perfecting of this temporary place
this material space
built with expendable ingredients,
that we don't see the aging mechanisms behind the curtain
on the stage of our pursuits.



Be brave now,
dear friends,
live simply on our planet home.
Now,
dear friends
Now.

31 August 2011

You, Me, and Junot Diaz


Just in case you're wondering where the heck
I've been, 
well,
my response is:
when a woman is my age, she should be allowed some lapses --
I get lost--
in thought,
in dreams,
in space,
whatever,
where-ever --
and then the rest is silence.

This is not to say my heart isn't beating.


I hope yours is, too.


2.

Well, tonight I read an article that made my heart skip a beat,
in the UTNE Reader.

Now, seriously, folks, 
I haven't looked at an UTNE Reader
in a couple of decades,
but there it was, and I started reading --
and found this article:



In this provocative article, Diaz contemplates how the catastrophe in Haiti
embodies Apocalypse,
indeed, it is Apocalypse
for the people of Haiti.

At the same time, 
it - and all other disasters -
reveals the true Haiti --
"Apocalyptic catastrophes don't just raze cities and drown coastlines;
these events, in journalist David Brooks' words,
'wash away the surface of society, the settled way things
have been done.  They expose
the underlying power structures,
the injustices, the patterns
of corruption and the unacknowledged inequalities."  And,
equally, they allow us insight into the conditions
that led to the catastrophe, whether we are talking about Haiti
or Japan."  (Diaz)

He proceeds to discuss how these disasters help us see first
the "true face" of a country:
as Katrina exposed "America's third world,"
Haiti exposes "the third world's third world.'

In many instances, these Apocalyptic disasters reveal
the way that humanity has defaced 
the planet, and in so doing, made it more vulnerable,
and susceptible
to disaster.  

The problem is,
according to Diaz,
that we just won't see the writing on the wall,
or on the planet --

I urge you to read this article.  I feel
uncomfortable summarizing and quoting it all.
Suffice it to say I agree with Diaz when he says:
"After all, apocalypses like the Haitian earthquake
are not only catastrophes; they are also opportunities;
chances for us to see ourselves, to take responsibility for what we see, 
to change."


Recently, we have been receiving our fill of
mini apocalypses,
disasters that have left thousands,
even millions,
of people dead, and entire regions
decimated.


They stay for a day or two in the news,
then fade away from public attention.

But this does not mean they fade away
in real time and space --
locally, in Haiti and in Japan and elsewhere
the dead are still dead,
the dying still dying,
the destroyed still rubble,
etc. etc etc..

As apocalypses propagate, 
the true apocalypse
may be just around the bend,
and when it does,
the potential for salvation
and second coming,
ends up lying soully
and solely
in us and us alone.

I sing along with Diaz when he says:

"One day something terrible will happen,
and for once we will heed the ruins.
We will begin collectively to take
responsibility for the world we're creating.
Call me foolishly utopian,
but I sincerely believe
this will happen. 
I do.
I just wonder how many millions of people will perish
before it does."



18 March 2011

Random Thoughts on Ghosts and Earthquakes

I find it kind of curious that
I've been getting a bunch of hits on this blog lately
because a few months ago I wrote
about an app I have on my phone
(You will note, that entry is now my highest ranking entry (see sidebar))

I wish  could report that the Ghost Radar
has continued to crack open the divide
between here and the 
nether world,
and to give me the meaning of life,
but when it suddenly blurted out
a few weeks ago
that some grandmother
had a gun,
I stopped using it.
It does tend to spew out
lists of senseless words,
wherein even the most daring imagination
can find few points of connection.


The other app that I have now
that I find to be far more prescient, accurate
and timely
is something called 


Yeah, that's right,
it's an app that reports
all the earthquakes going on
all over the world.
My family thought I was nuts
when I got it,
but I just have been having a funny feeling about the earth
beneath our feet these days:

Humans continually fight their petty fights
and destroy themselves and each other
when, in fact, there are far greater forces at work
right now.  The earth itself is repositioning,
and meanwhile we
(humanity) 
have our fingers in our ears, and we're
singing really loud.

When I was sitting in the middle of the desert
last week, I checked the QuakeWatch
with some regularity,
as I was very near
a fault line.
One day, one of my fellow desert sitters
informed me
I didn't need my silly app,
because he could hear the earthquakes,
even the small ones.  And then he started telling me 
whenever there was one.

I would check my app, and
he would right.

Meanwhile, too, though,
early last week,
it was hard not to notice
on my trusty little app
something happening in the Pacific
along the Ring of Fire.


So, though I was saddened and horrified
by the magnitude of the Japan Quake,
I was not surprised.


And this had very little to do 
with any prophetic skills:
my iPhone told me.



(Sorry this is a rather sad little entry,
but I got back home from my trip and proceeded to get
quite ill.  Flying on an airplane in the States these days
has the same effect as getting admitted to a hospital:
both make one ill, if one wasn't
ill before.)

04 June 2010

PURGE: it's not that I've not been thinking about this blog . . . .

. . . I have.

Sometimes I think I've set a precedent for myself,
to perform at a certain level,
and it's just so hard this week;
I'm just so tired.




And I'm frustrated by the events of the world.
It all just seems so stupid.

This ongoing oil spill. . . . .
OK, so I was wrong:
it's not the worst
oil spill the world has ever seen,
not yet at least.
Still
what makes it horrifying is how it has become
a spectator sport.

The number of films on YouTube alone
of the spill is horrifying.

Here's a link to a page with 
all the live feeds, which people seem to find
intriguing:



People just seem to be taken by the practice of just gazing upon 
the plumes of oil,
spewing up out of the sea bottom
uncontrollably.
I know it's an odd comparison, but it's almost like watching
a woman menstruating --
seeing the blood pouring out, uncontrollably,
knowing the belly is aching with the pangs of a birth that might have been,
but instead all that's left is waste,
spewing forth in an uncontrollable deluge.

The only difference is that this bloodletting
was not natural; no;
it was imposed
by humans.

But still, I can feel the earth's pangs of pain.

2.
We have truly raped the earth
as we've depleted her resources
unnaturally;
I parallel it a bit with the ways
we have mistreated animals
through the process of domestication.

Visit my cat blog;
there are three entries
on the story of my Turkish cat
(who just puked a strange green bile on my carpet).

She is old now, and deaf;
when I first got her, in Turkey,
she was neither old nor deaf.
I wanted her spayed.
It took three operations
to do it,
and she lost her hearing along with her ovaries.
It was an incompetent veterinarian who at one point
simply took something out of her gut
and told me "I think I got it," meaning her ovary.
He was wrong; she needed another operation after that.

So when she has symptoms like
green puke now,
in her later years, I still wonder
what he took out in that
second operation.
He did not know.
She has suffered so much
simply because
I wanted her to meet my specifications
in order for her to live in my house.
As if I was actually capable of reading her mind about that subject:
who knows if she really wanted to live in my house?

3.
Speaking of Turkey,
what about the Freedom Flotilla?
I've posted the
Christian Science Monitor's coverage in the entry
below this entry.

I may sound simplistic,
but it's time we stop fighting.
Especially across religious lines.
It is time we stop 
feeling that one group has more right than another
over a piece of this earth.

Israel.
Palestine.
Asia Minor.
Cyprus.
Yugoslavia.
Iraq.
Iran.
. . . .


The list goes on and on:
tormented land,
land that blood has shed upon
because one group of humans
felt they had more of a right to posses that little plot
of earth
than another group,
when in fact,
in their very deaths,
interred as we are
into the ground, 
we can see oh so clearly
that it is not we
who own the earth
but the earth
that owns us,
always will and always has.


Perhaps the most civil news story
I heard  today
was an apology delivered
from a 30 year veteran referee
to a newly minted professional baseball pitcher:



(see the Christian Science Monitor's
"Photos of the Day"
for June 3 )


If only world leaders
could find it within themselves
to admit potential misjudgements,
to shake hands and move on
to the next game
in the spirit of true sportsmanship.

26 May 2010

meanwhile, the planet bubbles on . . . .



lest we forget,
Mt. Eyjafjallajokull
is still rumbling:
(see Dailymail )

This is the volcano working in concert with the Northern Lights.

The most awesome concert I've seen in awhile.

23 May 2010

. . . and a child shall lead them . . . .

Someone sent me this video:


This child is an adult today.


When a child says this,
she is labeled bright, 
precocious,
idealistic,
and everyone smiles
and sheds a tear
for their own lost innocence.

But at least we listen to her.
I am a grown woman
my feet have passed through many doors
on this planet.
When I spoke like this
to my last boyfriend,
he laughed at me,
as if I was a naieve fool.


Sometimes, in the West,
we also listen to the
wise from the East,
who understand
what we want to hear:




Or we listen to elderly, saintly 
Indian women
who carry the burden of being
thoughtful, caring 
Christian adults
for all of us
(despite the fact that they are rarely
members of any recognized christian assembly).



But (in the popular Western mind, we believe)
they can't really be credible;
after all, this woman
lives in such a backwards, crowded land
and she almost looks like she has no gender.
So we let them live
their lives of sacrifice,
and take comfort from the fact
we mouth agreement with them,
and send them a little money
every now and then.



When an adult man speaks in a manner like this,
he is labeled a fool:



Well, I've watched this world
decline
in the hands of men
who would have us believe
that children,
saintly third-world women,
and vegetarian congressmen
are misdirected.

Throughout the 20th Century,
I was willing to listen
to the war mongers
because I was mad
at myself, and felt that
annihilation
was the only solution.
But now I can see that
the dream of annihilation
can be all too true,
and it is not
what God intended.

We need to start listening
to the innocent
and the misdirected
now
before it's too late.


18 April 2010

Respect It

Seeing ourselves in the mirror

1.
I used to tell people that I wished I could see myself when I walked through a door.  Any door.  I wished I could see the physical impression I made, the whole me, the me with my strengths, and all my visible weaknesses.  It has taken a long time to be able to do that.

Then I had a lover who was my mirror, and I saw how beautiful I was capable of being,  but also how vulnerable.  Because I did not know the impression I made,  I was so wrapped up in my inner life, my outer life was neglected, and that naivete was written all over my demeanor.

It's true: mirrors have become terrifically important to me these days, as an image, as a motif, as a way of understanding.  See my earlier entries on mirrors and the palindrome.  If you dare.

2.
One of my favorite themes from Rumi is this, which is said to be the saying of the "everlasting and eternal Lord":
"I am not contained in the heavens or in the void
or in the exalted intelligences and souls; 
but I am contained, as a guest,
in the true believer's heart,
without qualification or definition or description,
so that by the meditation of that heart
everything above and below may win from Me
abilities and gifts.
Without such a mirror neither earth nor time 
could bear the vision of My beauty.
I caused the steed of My mercy to gallop
over the two worlds. 
I fashioned a spacious mirror."
From this mirror appear at every moment
fifty spiritual wedding-feasts;
pay attention to the mirror,
but don't ask me to describe it.

The mirror; the vanishing point; the reflecting surface; the point of juncture where the two reflected sides of the palindrome meet.  This juncture is the abode of God.


3.
Sometimes we get so hung up at the imperfections that we see in the mirror.  That zit, for instance, right below my eye.  It's slowly going away, but I know it's there, because I can even see it, just at the lower range of my vision.   I could become so obsessive about it, trying to hide it with make-up, or I could just let it be.  I've been letting it be, taking a small delight in the fact I can see it a little, and each time I let myself be conscious of it, I remember what I saw in the mirror that morning.  That imperfection unites me with my whole self, if that makes any sense.

But I also know it's there because of all the chocolate I've been eating.  So I'm trying not to eat so much chocolate.

4.
Google earth is amazing.
Google earth makes it possible to see stuff like this:


This is the volcano erupting in Iceland.  (source: FromTheOld )

Or this:




(source: gearthblog )

(This was actually taken from the Space Station traveling overhead.)  This is a result from the Chilean earthquake.  Also the following entry, which includes images of Haiti after the earthquake.

Getting cameras up into the distant skies over our planet gives us the opportunity to get a mirror image of ourselves, flaws and all.  Remember the awe the world felt the first time it got an image of Earth from outer space?  Yes, this planet is beautiful!  But right now it's erupting, showing us some pimples and fractures, and points of change.


My question is simple: how can we go on ignoring them?  The earth is trying to tell us something about itself.  It's showing us something we all need to see: what our collective self looks like as it goes spinning through space.

We can either keep ignoring it, being so self-involved that we can pretend it doesn't matter.  Or we can pay attention to the signs.

And some stop being so self-indulgent.

Satellite Photos of Haiti Before and After the Earthquake

Satellite Photos of Haiti Before and After the Earthquake

Posted using ShareThis

13 March 2010

Radio Makropoulos, Part I

I have a rather curious relationship with radio.  

For many people today, radio is as old as, well, the hills, but I can tell you that in the larger historical scheme of things, the various technologies that utilize radio frequencies are really very young.  And just think of all of them: we can't unlock our car doors these days without some form of a radio wave.  Microwaves, cellphones, sonar, x-ray, my wireless keyboard - - - so much of what we take for granted today relies on some form of a radio wave.  

It was really a little only over a hundred years ago that geeks - as you would call them today - all over the world were tinkering with tubes and wires, and discovering that it was indeed possible to capture the impulses that surrounded us.  Lots of people like to debate about who developed the first radio; quite frankly, I don't think it really matters.  This internet has helped us to realize that when a concept has reached its day, and is ready to be born, many kindred minds all across the world will think it at roughly the same time.  Of all the nominees to be the inventor of radio, I am quite fond of Nikola Tesla, but for very personal reasons.  I met him once in a bar in Montmartre, somewhere around 1881 or '82, and he and I had an immediate attraction.  Well, I think a lot of women were attracted to him, but for some reason, he chose me.  We didn't talk much, but spent an afternoon together in the innkeeper's bedroom.  It still makes me tingle, thinking about the energy that kept our bodies together for so long.  It was an energy I never wanted to lose, and I cried for a week after he left me.  

That was one of several times I realized that my body is capable of actually conducting something that has come to be known as radio.  And since then, I've thought a lot about what those various frequencies were doing before the human intellect evolved to the point where we could actually coopt them and train them to serve our purposes.  No, those radio waves were not invented when the mechanisms for conducting them were invented; they were around us all along, serving the health of the planet in a number of ways.

I found this guy on YouTube who has built one of Tesla's "spirit machines," and what he does with it can give you a little idea of what Tesla (and other early radio pioneers) was tapping.  I like to believe that Nikola understood better than the others how radio is intimately connected to the realm that some of us may call spiritual:



This is all really kind of wonderful and creepy.  But let me ponder for a little what my thoughts on the real purpose of radio waves is:

You see, I think radio frequencies are about as vital to life on earth as air and water is.

Animals know that.  I think about how my cats interact with each other, and with me.  Especially my deaf cat.  All I have to do is enter a room, and she'll wake up.  This is vibration of course, but what is vibration but a frequency?  Cats are very frequency sensitive, and it seems to me that when they lose their capacity to detect frequencies with their ears, they use other aspects of their body to help them.  They use their senses to conduct the frequencies in other ways.  And don't forget bats, too, who rely solely on frequencies to survive.  Other animals, too, seem to exist at different frequency levels, utilizing them to communicate and sustain themselves.  I've read that sloths might utilize a low-frequency sound to communicate.

So why are humans limited to only detecting frequency with their ears?  I think it's just that our other frequency receptors have been dulled or have remained underdeveloped.



I've had some rather strange, embarrassing, and sometimes dangerous experiences based on my own ability to inadvertantly conduct frequencies through senses other than my ears.  One of the ways this manifests itself is my ability to sense the presence, or approaching presence (like the thunderstorm) of someone I know or have known.  My sensory perception seems to occur on the level of hearing, feeling, smelling, and, well, just a deep hunch that sometimes manifests itself in my head in words.  I think, for instance of a trip I took to Istanbul about four years ago.  I was with a female companion, and trying to avoid an old lover of mine.  I woke up one morning, and I knew that I would see him.  I told my companion, and she just laughed.  

But sure enough, at around 2:00 p.m., as we came out of the MiÅŸir Çarşı (the Spice Market), near the Yeni Camii (the New Mosque), there he was.  I felt him before I saw him, which was good, because I caught him in profile.  He was buying some flowers.  I hurried away before he could turn and see me, but not before I could point him out to my friend. 

Now, they say that as a woman gets older, she may become more psychic.  I think that what it really is is that she becomes more capable of conducting, receiving, and sending, various frequencies emitted by other people, animals, plants, and even spirits.  My own ability to do that has continued to increase over the past 200 years or so.  This experience that I describe above is really minor compared to some others that I've had.  Just read some of my earlier entries on the Grid message, and voices I've heard.  In fact, I've actually tried very hard at various times over the past century, to dull my senses with petty worries and aches and pains, to block the impulses that come through.  More often recently, though, I just can't help it: I'll be relaxing, usually, and then something just comes flooding in.  

I'd even go so far as to say that sometimes I feel like my body is no more than a transmitter.  I've said previously that these bodies we inhabit are like avatars that allow us to function on our lovely planet earth.  And like the avatars from the movie, we should be able to interact with all the sensual experiences that are associated with the planet.  So why not the various frequencies around us?  Indeed, it seems only natural that we should be able to do this, if animals and plants can do it.

What's unnatural, perhaps, is that we don't transmit, despite the fact that our bodies are designed to transmit.  Our cellular radio receivers may even be confused by the system of artificial transmitters and receivers around us.  Dare I say, we are trapped in an artificial grid when in fact there is a natural one, and it is the natural impulses that we call radio?

Oh, I know I'm putting a lot in this entry, but I want to include one other story of something that happened to me, about four years ago, that might help further illustrate my point.  I was in my kitchen, listening to my radio.  My phone was in my pocket.  I was thinking of my friend, S, and washing the dishes.  Suddenly, I heard a phone ringing.  

Strangely, the sound was coming right through my radio!  There, right in with the 6:30 NPR report, was the distinctive sound of someone's phone ringing.

I walked over to turn the radio off, because I figured I would end up overhearing someone else's phone conversation soon, which I did not want to do.  Before I could turn the nob, I heard a pick-up, and my curiousity got the best of me.

I heard my friend S's voice, saying "hello?"  It was coming through my radio.  I listened to hear who was calling her, but no one spoke.  

"Hello, Hello?"  she said.  I had to reply.

"Hello, S, can you hear me?"  I said to my radio.

"Yes, but you sound like you're at the bottom of a well."  

So I told her I was talking to her through my radio, and she just laughed.  Then I asked her why she called me, and she said "I didn't call you; you called me."

But I knew I hadn't.  Furthermore, if I had, I would never have thought I could do it through my radio.  I had indeed been thinking about her, but that was all.

To this day, I have no physical explanation for that odd experience, except that I may have bumped the phone in my pocket.  But at a certain point during the conversation, I took it out and looked at it, and it was not functioning at all.

Now, there had been a terrible storm about a week previous in my city, and it had destroyed many phone and electrical wires.  When I told a few people what had happened, they said they had heard that lots of electronic devices were fried by the storm.  

"The storm jumbled up the frequencies," someone said.  

My question is: did the storm jumble up the frequencies so much that my own mind was able to project its desires on my radio?  

I really don't think I'm special in this regard.  But what I know for certain is that ever since then, I've had a tendency to not be able to keep a wireless telephone for too long.  They all tend to go dead, or start ringing on their own occasionally, calling people I've been thinking of for awhile, and confusing us both when we answer the phone and are uncertain who called whom.

I have no explanation for this.  As I said at the beginning of this, I have a rather curious relationship with radio.