Place of Refuge

Place of Refuge

19 January 2012

Thoughts on Martin Luther King, Jr. day, a few days late






So,  Monday was Martin Luther King Day, and as part of it, my NPR station seemed to be continually streaming stories of the man and his cause.  At one point around mid-day, I heard an interview in which an African American teacher made the claim that only black people can and should teach out race.  I immediately wanted to respond to this remark, but I was driving, so that was not an option.  So I mulled it over a bit, then put my pen to the page, and here I am.

When faced with the inevitable race question on a job application, the only choice I can make is Caucasian, or "White."  I cannot call myself "Black" or "Asian" or "Hispanic"; and even in those times when I have applied for jobs in New York City, I could not choose "Italian American."  That's right: once when I was applying for a position at a Manhattan-based university, I received a form in the mail that asked which of the following applied to me:
Caucasian
African American
Hispanic
Pacific Islander
Asian
Italian American
Other
So stymied by the inclusion of Italians, I chose "Other" and wrote in "Polish-Irish American."  And perhaps that is why I did not even get an interview.

But the point remains that Race is such an overblown, misunderstood concept in the U.S.A., while it is also perhaps  the most important issues for Americans to confront and discuss, and continue to discuss.  To say that I, one of Northern European ancestry, have no right to teach students about race is a racist remark in and of itself, and if being the object of racism qualifies one to talk about it, then that remark qualifies me to participate in that discussion.



found at "CensusScope"

And a discussion it must be.  One cannot "teach" race in any quantitative sense because that experience is so fraught with complexity, depending upon region, socio-economics, gender, and any other number of intervening circumstances.  Indeed, my understanding of racial inequality is no doubt not the same as yours, and this is why to "teach" about race is to open a discussion, and to do it with great compassion to the multitude of experiences, and to the very real fact that one's own experience might be proven limited or limiting.

I have taught the topic of racism, if we can define "teaching" as I do in the previous paragraph.  In my early years of college teaching, I would approach the topic through literature such as James Baldwin's "Sonny's Blues," or a favorite of mine -- the pairing of Death of a Salesman with August Wilson's Fences.    Or through essays on Ebonics or rap.  All of these provided, and still provide, starting points for discussion.  This was the 1980's, and there may have been only one or two black students in a room of twenty to thirty students; sometimes, they were brave enough to share their perspective, and I began working on ways to make those students feel comfortable enough to share, without feeling put on the spot.  I found it my job to listen, carefully, and urge others to listen carefully to each person's ideas before responding.  

I don't believe I succeeded in "teaching" race; that was, after all, not my intent.  Rather, my inent was, in the end, just to get people to talk and to share experiences, and by doing so, broaden each students' perceptions of this difficult topic, not to mention my own.


Without a doubt, the most profound experience I ever had when it comes to learning (and teaching) about race came when I taught for a year at one of the Historically Black Universities & Colleges (HBCU) in Mississippi.   Previous to this appointment, I had been living and teaching full-time in Turkey for four years, and I was grateful and excited to be offered a one-year full time appointment in the USA, even before I returned to the country.  In academia, stepping out of a full-time job without another one is almost certainly the kiss of death for your career.  For family and personal reasons, I had to return to America; my preference was to be in the North, but here was an offer I couldn't refuse, coming in just under the wire.  So, after succeeding in getting my Turkish street cat through U.S. Customs, I packed her up in my car and moved to the Deep South.  As someone who lived for over forty years in the North East, going from teaching in Ankara to teaching in Mississippi was like moving from one country to another, and neither of them were the America I grew up in.  

But I quickly came to understand, albeit on a pretty superficial level, that Mississippi is part of the United States of America, and by living there, I came to love my country even more.  But I also came to the conclusion that I mentioned above, that is: that race is the crucible issue in the USA, the one we must continue to confront if we are to grow as a healthy nation.

When I arrived in Mississippi, I was grateful to a fellow American who I met while living in Turkey; for simplicity's sake, let's call her "American Woman", or "A.W."  A.W. had left Turkey the year before I did, and had gained a tenure track position at this HBCU, which happened to be located near her home town.  Thanks to her, I secured this position.  She was Southern,  and white.  After driving alone through about six states to get to my new job, she let me stay in her new house, which actually dated from the antebellum period, for a few days after I arrived.  But she was eager to help me find my own place; she brought me to a secluded apartment community on my second day in town; she stood by my side while I signed a lease for an unfurnished two bedroom apartment there.  As we drove out of the parking lot, she said to me, "Oh, this'll be a good place for you; there are no darkies livin' here."

Mind you, this was in 2003.  

I moved my car full of kitchen supplies and camping gear into my unfurnished apartment the next day, and she never invited me back to her house after that.  Occasionally, when she walked past my office at school (remember, she was my colleague), she would peak in my door and say "How's the job search going?" then hurry down the hall.  Once or twice during the year, she agreed to meet me for lunch, but that was all.  I might consider myself lucky now for her coldness, but at the time, she was the only person I knew in the entire state.

And thus I began to understand how region colored the issue of race in many subtle ways.  I was a Northern White, the second generation progeny of working class immigrants, but with a Ph.D. from an intimidating Northern university (N.Y.U.)  She was a Southern White Ol' Miss graduate, whose family (as she was very pointed in letting me know) had settled in this area in the early 1800s, and who had once owned quite a bit of land, and -- no doubt -- slaves to boot.

My loneliness was matched only by my great longing to return "home" -- and in my mind that was either New York State, where I had lived for over a decade before moving out of the country, or Turkey, whose people had made me feel very welcome.  In Mississippi, I tried to teach lessons I had taught in both places, and was met by confusion.  But I will say to this day that I was treated with great respect, as well as a large amount of fascination, by my students who were, 100%, the children of former slaves.


I could tell many stories about that year, but I will tell two, because these two taught me some vital lessons about Race in America.  From the beginning, I made it a point to always refer to the majority of my colleagues and students as "African American," the term I had learned was proper during graduate school in the North, in the 1980's ad 1990's.  One day, one of my colleagues took me aside and said: "Listen, you're really making me crazy with this African-American thing.  To begin,  I'm not African.  My family was slaves in Georgia, and they were brought there from the West Indies.  And somewhere in there, somebody got in with some Indians - Native Americans you'd call them - so I have plenty of that blood, too.  Look at my skin. . . " (she held her dark arm against mine, which was pretty pale for want of sun) "I am Black.  Call me Black.  Call us all Black.  That's what I am, just like you are the whitest White Girl I've ever seen."  And then she invited me to lunch.

Black and White: that's what she taught me.  In the Deep South, it's about the color of your skin, and the "brighter" a Black person was, the better off they were.

So I watched what I said, carefully, often going to this colleague for advice.  I listened to what people called each other.  One term that I heard used a lot, with my male students, was "boy."  My white colleagues called young black males "boys," so did my black colleagues; the football coach called his team "boys."  In the grocery store, any black male of any age whose name was unknown was called "boy."  

One day in class we were discussing an essay about gender, and I decided to break the class into groups - male and female.  When I referred to the groups, I called them the "Men" and the "Women."  Quite frankly, I always call my students Men and Women, because, after all, at the university level they're old enough to vote, get married, and go to war.  In my current classes, students giggle when I call them Men and Women.  In a Black university in Mississippi during the 2003-2004 academic year, when I used these terms, it was a different story.

The women liked being called Women.  They seemed to sit up straighter when they heard the term.  The men, mostly football players, looked confused, and whispered between themselves, until finally one young man spoke up, in a very confrontational tone:

"Excuse me, M'am.  What is that you keep calling me?"

I paused, trying to remember the last few minutes of conversation, trying to figure out what I had said that was wrong.

"I'm calling you Men," I said.

"What?" he said.  He had a deep Northern Louisianna drawl that I could barely understand.  (The following week, I pointed that out to him, and he told me he could barely understand me, either.)

"Man."  

"I'm sorry, I still don't understand what you are saying.  What are you calling me?"

The women in the class chimed in then, to help me -- "She's calling you a man" -- while I wrote the word "MAN" on the board.

And for a stupefied moment, he and all the other men in the room were silent, and then he said:

"Pardon me, Miss.  I didn't understand you.  But yes, you're right.  I'm a man." 

Later, one of the young women explained to me that that was a term that young black males rarely heard applied to them.

I will let you form whatever conclusions you would like about these stories.  For me, these incidents, and others, helped me realize that Race in America is far more complex than anyone can imagine.  One would have to travel and live in every corner of this huge nation to experience its subtleties.  But most of all, one would have to take the chance of talking and listening to how we talk or don't talk to each other.  (This reminds me of another black student I had in the late 1980's - in the North East - a single mom who decided mid-semester to move back to Georgia with her toddler son.  When I asked her why she expressed her concern for her son, then said: "at least in the South the racism is clear; in the North it's all hidden behind politeness.")

To teach about racism in the U.S.A.?  No one person has the ultimate authority.  But we all have the right - and the freedom - to share what we've experienced.  What we really need to teach is how to listen, compassionately, carefully and without judgement,  and how to be brave enough to admit that our own experience is only an entrance point to any true conversation on the subject.

16 January 2012

Fluidity


When creators
                               begin
                                                   exploring
                                                                            how the most expressive medium


is fluidity itself,




                                       then


we are truly entering a time (non/time)

                                     when the mediums of human creation and godly creation

merge






"And the earth was without form,
and void; and darkness was upon
the  face of the deep.  And
the Spirit of God 
moved upon
the face of the waters."
(Genesis: 1:2)

11 January 2012

Hear and Know


Somedays I wake up,
and my being is here,
so totally
pressed up against my inner flesh
like a child against a window:
whole being, flat
wanting
to get to the other side
no matter
what harm lies there.

These days I relish like a fresh cup
of coffee,
and I drink them slow - - -


Then
                                   Other days
I wake to find
the self is in bondage
                                                          somewhere deep inside,
perhaps 
                                                on the other side
                                                          where all selves merge.
Lost in the language,
the cacophony of vowels and 
                                   full stops,
I maneuver the day, a robot
wishing for immediacy,
aware of inadequacy.

Such days
only love
can bring me home,
can bring me here;
                                     we share
                                     a touch
                                       we share
                                           a glance ---

we owe each other
a lifeline back to the moment
if we recognize another wandering,
lost in space.


These words are my hands --
the vowels my eyes
seeking to anchor you
here
             and
now.


Here and Now
Hear and Know
Here and Now

08 January 2012

Do It Now


The simple problem of humanity
is that we've built a world
- our perfect world -
so well, it hides the world
whose very imperfections whisper
the secrets we all seek.


With each inhale,
with each exhale,
with each slumbering purr and fart,
our earth speaks
the mystery of her own creation,
and our creation too.

We fumbling creator creatures,
so self important in our mimicking
of the sublime voice that breathed us into life,
and 
in our petty perfecting of this temporary place
this material space
built with expendable ingredients,
that we don't see the aging mechanisms behind the curtain
on the stage of our pursuits.



Be brave now,
dear friends,
live simply on our planet home.
Now,
dear friends
Now.

Father Reason, by Rumi


The universe is a form of divine law,
your reasonable father.

When you feel ungrateful to him,
the shapes of the world seem mean and ugly.

(this and upcoming images from drwcampbell )

Make peace with that father, the elegant patterning,
and every experience will fill will immediacy.

Because I love this, I am never bored.
Beauty constantly wells up, a noise of springwater
in my ear and in my inner being.



Tree limbs rise and fall like the ecstatic arms
of those who have submitted to the mystical life.

Leaf sounds talk together like poets
making fresh metaphors.  The green felt cover slips,
and we get a flash of the mirror underneath.


Think how it will be when the whole thing
is pulled away!  I tell you only one thousandth
of what I see, because there's so much doubt everywhere.

The conventional opinion of this poetry is,
it shows great optimism for the future.

But Father Reason says,
No need to announce the future!
This now is it.
This.
Your deepest need and desire 
is satisfied by the moment's energy
here in your hand.







07 January 2012

The Birthday Boy in the Year of the Palindrome


So,
I know you've all been wondering where I've been,
and
if I could possibly ignore David Bowie's 65th birthday,
which is tomorrow.

Well, in answer to where I've been -- it's hard to say --
I haven't been in cyber land, but I've been restoring myself
inside myself.

My hands are aching to write, though.


And in answer to the second point, 
of course not.
Here it is,
the beginning of 2012,
and Mr. Bowie is turning 65 --

it seems only right to offer
a palindromic video:










23 December 2011

Peaceful Christmas Wishes To The World, from Makropoulos




Whether you believe the story or not,
the sentiment of it is important:

Peace on Earth,
Good Will To All --

on this Christmas,
during this tumultuous time,
may we all find the Jesus within us all.

As I've said so many times before,
if only we could all do that,
Jesus would come
again, 
or truly,
for the first time.



21 December 2011

Beside Myself


I'm standing beside myself
and staring
up a long, cold concrete stair,
walking beside myself,
doubly visioned,
doubly
unaware --

me
momentarily divided in two
by the tilt of the earth
by the pull of the moon.


My other self,
my darker self,
the self I like to hide
for a moment illumines,
its unbearable brightness
filling my mind
lighting the truths 
about me
about life.
These are
the truths that I hide
because they're so large,
no one could bear
to stare
at them daily.
But when I'm beside myself,
when I'm split in two,
I see what lies hidden,
and I see
what hides it, too,
unbearably.

You too.


Have no fears.
Even in this weight of stark
self division, we are turning
back towards coherence;
 even as we are moving
into the darker days,
each imperceptibly longer,
the sun is moving too,
planning its return --

Prepare yourself
for that time, when
we can be whole, and gaze
at the beauty of earth again, 
and revel
in the gifts that it gives.

This solstice,
this Christmas,
give the gifts of a child -
of peace and love,
and wide-eyed honesty, so
the next time your self divides
you are happy
with what you see.

16 December 2011

forbidden fruit



There's always been a forbidden fruit,
and there always will be.


There's always something that
within our conscience,
we know we should not do.

(Our conscience, by the way, is that ever flowing,
border crossing,
spiritual entity
that both dictates our individual actions
and unites human - kind.

Essentially, our conscience
is the essence of the Creator
that we all share.
)

The moment of The Fall was
the moment of evolution
during which
humans recognized they could discriminate,
understand,
and make decisions
that are both in tune with the
and, 
more significantly,
contrary to 
the will of the Universal Conscience.

It set us in motion to become
Creators
in our own right --

So, to reinterpret
that story that I love to interpret
and reinterpret so much:
some early humans
with the initials A and E
once upon a time
were the first to have the capacity
to make a choice 
,
to ignore the voice of Conscience
and do something contrary to the wishes
of the Universal Good,
and then, they also chose
to pretend that what they did
was just fine.

Thus began
the game of deception that we call Civilization.

( igniq )

We have made the terrific mistake
over the centuries
of believing that our conscience
is individual,
when in fact
it is the steady constant
that provides universal ethics
for harmonious living.

The voice of God
screams out from the depths
of the You
you currently occupy;
it demands
that You cooperate
and collaborate
with your fellow Humans
(and the other animals, as well).

We have stifled the Voice Inside for far far
too long.



If you hear a voice screaming
in your head right now,
as I do,
a voice you cannot ignore,
it is the voice of our shared consciousness
and our source
demanding to be heard.


Listen to it.

12 December 2011

The Dream That Must Be Interpreted (by Rumi, illustrations by Odilon Redon)


This place is a dream.
Only the sleeper considers it real.

Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing
at what you thought was your grief.

But there's a difference with this dream.
Everything cruel and unconscious
done in the illusion of the present world,
all that does not fade away at the death-waking.

It stays,
and it must be interpreted.


All the mean laughing,
all the quick, sexual wanting,
those torn coats of Joseph,
they change into powerful wolves 
that you must face.

The retaliation that sometimes come now,
the swift, payback hit,
is just a boy's game
to what the other will be.


(this, and the above, from
artunframed )

And this groggy time we live,
this is what it's like:
                             A man goes to sleep in the town
where he has always lived, and he dreams he's living
in another town.
                    In the dream, he doesn't remember
the town he's sleeping in his bed in.  He believes
the reality of the dream town.

The world is that kind of sleep.


artinthepicture

The dust of many crumbled cities
settles over us like a forgetful doze.
But we are older than those cities.
                                 We began
as a mineral.  We emerged into plant life,
and into the animal state, and then into being human,
and always we have forgotten our former states,

except in early spring when we slightly recall
being green again.


venu

                     That's how a young person turns
toward a teacher.  That's how a baby leans
toward a breast, without knowing the secret
of its desire, yet turning instinctively.

Humankind is being led along an evolving course,
through this migration of intelligences,
and though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream,


and that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are.




canvaz






just a pair of shoes

I can't believe it has taken me
over a week
to post this entry . . . .

I am still around! 
But the world has been way too much with me. . . 
to all the readers who pass by this page
either purposefully
or by happen-stance,
I promise:
I'll be back to regular blogging,
and regular visits to your blogs
very very soon . . . .



About a week ago,
I was part of an organized discussion,
where the leader proposed we all contemplate the topic
of shoes.

Quite frankly, I didn't think the conversation would last all that long.
But we all quickly came to realize that one should
never underestimate
the meaning of
a shoe







This conversation was part a training session
for group leaders
in a spiritual context,
so nearly everyone considered the sacred places
where we take them off --


This seemed far too obvious to me; my mind
went to symbolic shoes,
magical shoes,
not to mention
my own shoes, too.
These are the shoes I am wearing right now:

( zappos )

They are also the shoes I was wearing on the day,
when I contemplated shoes.  As I sat there thinking about them,
I could suddenly feel them --
feel my feet inside of them,
and the ways the shoes held my feet:
comfortably, inconsequentially --
minimal support but enough
to get by.

'Tis true:
 shoes do
say a lot about me and about you.
In fact, we talked for quite some time
about the Meaning of Shoes.



I don't have a lot of shoes,
but the shoes I do have I buy for walking;
I have very few shoes
for decoration only --
I take shoes seriously, and I don't give them up
easily.
Because I wear my shoes well,
and by the time they are unredeemable,
they are so full of stories that I cannot part with them.
I have more old shoes than I have
photo albums, not to mention
more old shoes than I have
new shoes.

I am no Imelda Marcos
.
. . . and yeah, I have big feet.


As I sat there thinking
about shoes,
beyond my own shoes,
a collage of symbolic shoes
crossed my mind --
shoes that have trod the pages of popular,
and unpopular
culture for centures, and I was amused
and amazed by the stories
they told,
far more than the average library.







For me, when someone leaves my life
for whatever reason they might
leave,
the hardest thing they could leave behind would be
a pair of shoes --
I would have to look at them
every day,
maybe
twice a day,
until I got up the nerve
to pick them up
and get rid of them.


In their emptiness,
shoes imply stories,
some finished,
some in progress,
some yet to start.

So as I contemplated this humble
entry on shoes,
I started looking for pictures of
interesting shoes ~ ~

Well, here are a few,
only a few


Read on, and let their emptiness
fill your mind with images of where
they may have been:


( bible-archeology )

( lizciokajlo )



( costumes.org )



( prior two photos from arttatler )


( indiashoes )



( americanduchess )


( newworldorderreport )

( fashionfabulous )







(above two pictures from jerzygirl45 )



. . . . . and . . .




Shoes are magic,
never forget it,
shoes can take you
anywhere
you want to be.

01 December 2011

Like a Prayer: To My Mother


Hanging up the phone tonight, after talking with my ancient mother, I said to her, as I always say: "I love you."  Obligatory, yes, and yet, I know I truly mean it.  I know that if tomorrow, if I had not said it, and if I were to receive the call that told me she has finally departed this domain, I would tear myself apart for not having said those three words to her the last time we spoke on this beautiful planet.

Those three words are an obligation, and yet they are all I want to have ever said to my mother, because they summarize all of my messages to her, over the years, over the decades, over the centuries:  my messages of hope, of expectation, of disappointment, of demand, of guilt, of sadness, of hurt, of happiness, of intentions, of plans, of relationships, of joys, of men, of women, of children, of change, of desire, of despair, of impatience, of patience, of giving up, of acceptance, of life, of life, of life --- all those messages I've ever shared with my mother over my multiple lifetimes, which she has listened to so patiently, are best summed up with one message: I love you.   And so I say it, dutifully, every night when I call her before she goes to bed.  It's true.  I do.  Like a nighttime prayer, I call my mother, listen to her litany of pains and changes in her aching aging body, and then I say "I love you," and "sleep well."


I love you.  What does it truly mean to say that?  In the long term, when you've lived as long as I have, it is to say this:

You have a place in my heart.
No one else has that place --
only you--
and when I visit it, I am
with you.

The mystery and the magic lies
in this:
my heart has more places
than I can count,
and each has a different shape
                         and size
that can only be found
when its occupant is found --
In other words,
dear reader,
I did not know that place existed 
in my heart, that place
the size of you
until I met you, and then
there it was --
beating, throbbing, flexible, growing
that place in my heart 
that was made for you --
that was waiting for you --

No one else will fit there,
and it will endure,
as long as I endure--

This
is what it means when I say
I love you,
and I do ---
               who

ever you are, my many
silent ethereal, virtual friends --
love you ---

read it every night
before you go to bed
                           like a prayer.   



24 November 2011

Turkeys Revolt!!! (Happy Thanksgiving)

So sorry I haven't been here for a little while --
it's a busy time of the year for me,
not simply because the holidays are starting.

It's just the nature of the business I'm in.

Anyway,
I was cleaning and stuffing a turkey this morning,
when I was approached by a four year old
who climbed up on a stool and looked very closely
at the beast in the sink.

"What do you think?" I asked him.

"I just want to look at the turkey," he said,
"but I don't want to eat him.  I really feel sorry for him."

I tried to come up with a good reason for eating the beast,
including the fact he was raised free range,
and fed natural foods,
there on a beautiful farm
somewhere in Upstate New York,
but I realized by the look on the child's face
that I was presenting a very convincing argument
for keeping the bird alive.

Oh, well.
I'm still eating turkey tonight.

But I did want to see how the turkeys themselves feel
about the ongoing abuse against them.
And I may have found a few answers:









hey, happy thanksgiving!

17 November 2011

On Purity & Perversity



"'t'will out! 't'will out!" (Othello  V:ii)

*
There is a point where the pure
meets the perverse,
and that is the place
                   of secrecy --

The place of hushed whispers
and slapped hands,
the place of shame
                                      and private penance.

The insiduous shadow of sin
creeps in
when childhood curiosity
meets adult greed, revenge
and guilt.

Come here,
little boy or gilr,
come here.
I know you just discovered
the feelings in that part of you
that no one ever talks
about.
You can talk about it --
             you can show it
                                        to me.
and I'll show you
            what I have, too --
just as someone
once had me do,
              I'll do
                   unto you.

But keep it quiet.
No one will know.
We live in a world,
                                          after all
where we all are led to believe
that only what we see
is true.
There is a point
where the pure
meets the perverse,
and that is the place
                         of secrecy.

I woke up this morning to this story on the radio:



(click on radio for story - thanks to
NPR Morning Edition)


The recent revelations that a university football coach could abuse a child have yielded more admissions of childhood abuse then the pedophile priests ever did.  More and more men (and women) are coming forward with stories of how they, too, were abused -- by coaches, troop leaders, neighbors, uncles, friends.  Why does this incident spur this wave of admissions when pedophilic priests did not?


NPR claims that having this vice discovered in a college football locker room brings it into a more familiar realm and treads into the domain of what I would call secular manhood -- a sacred domain all its own.  In the USA in particular, the altar of the Sunday Football Game is visited far more regularly than the corner parish, and the communion of beer and chips shared with more reverence and passion than a thin tasteless wafer claiming to be the body of One Who Died For Our Sins.  Instead, the average American male opts to view the carnage of their favorite sport, again and again, sanctified and revitalized by those who live through it, week to week.

The Penn State story tears a hole into the ritual of manhood and carnage we call American Football, and this NPR story seems to suggest that, thanks to this, during those commercial breaks, more men, women, boys and girls are finding words for secrets they've hidden far too long.  In some cases, these secrets may have festered and produced self doubt and castigation, and ultimately created more victimizers, and more victims.  Seeing not only the perpetrator but also other coaches and a university president pay the price for this indiscretion helps the victim see that they were indeed a victim, and that society will sympathize with them.  There is something terrifically refreshing about this, because once a victim can identify his own victimhood, and realize that those who victimized them were indeed wrong, then that individual can take positive steps down the path of healing.

Meanwhile, as the NPR story says, there was little to no retribution in the church.  Pedophile priests were "outed" and for a day or two, they were the talk of the town, but then they were shuffled back behind the sacred veil of secrecy and silence.  Some returned to active congregations.  Some may have been defrocked, but no charges were filed.  Most recently, the Vatican initiated liturgical reforms that some argue reinstate language that takes steps back towards obscuring what is happening in the mass.  Language itself can be a barrier to hide behind: cryptic language makes true understanding and personal interpretation less possible for the average church goer, and restores the power of translation and interpretation to the priests, thus diverting attention away from those nasty little stories about priests and altar boys and replacing it with a reverence for the priest's specialized access to sacred knowledge.

~ ~

( christmasideas )

Meanwhile, a wounding contradiction festers.

At the core of Christianity is the fetishization of innocence
and purity :  the return of the child who can save
the world.  The story
that is so adored
and repeated because it is adored
looks to the Innocent - to a Child - for redemption.

Honestly,
the Christmas story is a beautiful vision,
for only in our children can we find
our better selves.

So why must we maintain this secret place where, even as the innocent is adored,
it can be defiled?  If the great men of football can man up enough to punish those who hurt our children
then why can't the Church?
So much healing could begin, if the cycle of abuse
in that oldest of abusive institutions in the world could be broken.  Both abusers and abused (many of whom may be one in the same person) would benefit from a public confession and atonement.


Notably,
with every new story of abuse that we learn of,
the finger points back to the abuses that have yet to be punished.
The truth will out, for
the secret is tired of being kept --
Every secret ultimately longs
to be told, and

purity is demanding its time again